The Uberman sleep cycle

This sleep cycle is absolute torture. Do you want to know how or even want to try it out? Well, come on over - let's explore the dark side of sleeping.

There are many different sleep cycles. You got monophasic sleep, biphasic sleep, everyman (why is it called that), and polyphasic sleep - I don’t know if there are more. Each sleep cycle is unique in its own way. Monophasic sleep is the good old 8-hour sleep cycle, biphasic is one 30 min nap and a 5-6 hour sleep, and there are other ones that are just absurd (why do they even exist). Anyway, here are some pie charts of some sleep cycles.

Have you heard of the Uberman sleep schedule? No, it is not used by Uber drivers to maximize their driving time and no, this is not a method for you to sleep better. In fact, it is quite the opposite.

An Overview

The Uberman sleep schedule (a type of polyphasic sleep) consists of twenty-minute naps spaced equidistantly throughout the day. Now we know all the students go through this sleep cycle during exam times - horrific days. A total of two hours of sleep per day all spaced out in twenty-minute naps is something I know I will never do. There is nothing known about the long-term health effects of being an Uberman because there are no cases of long-term Ubermans. The longest anyone has been one is for a year.

Leonardo Da Vinci was an Uberman who slept for only two hours a day (now that’s what you call leading a productive life). I’m not surprised because he is basically a master in everything from music and arts, to mathematics and astronomy. If you want to be the next Da Vinci, being an Uberman won’t make the cut, but just in case you want to adapt to be an Uberman, let’s go over the steps on how to do so.

The Adaptation Stage

Before you even start to adapt to being an Uberman, you have to get ready for it: in other words, acquire the necessary bodily functions for this sleep cycle. Just stay awake for 24-36 hours and you’ll be ready for adaptation. After a grueling eternity of Satan sitting on your eyelids, you get to sleep every three to four hours - literal torture.

Of course, you have to take it slow. An eight-nap schedule would do the trick. Just add an extra 40 minutes of precious time in dreamland and you’ll be totally fine. May the gods bless you (if they have time). By the way, did I mention that there may a “zombie mode” and that it takes almost a month to become a fully-fledged Uberman (why do you think this club is so hard to get into)?

Zombie Mode

The Zombie Mode. It is just as it sounds; you will be a zombie: at least mentally. Going from an eight-hour hibernation to basically insomnia is no easy task. Your brain has to rewire itself entirely. In fact, it is so hectic that when you wake up from your precious slumber you won’t remember anything you are doing. If you go outside in your boxers, tough luck, but I warned you. Every Uberman has this mode and it is completely out of your control. The only thing you can do to prevent yourself from confusing the bathroom with the office or going outside in your boxers is by training yourself to do specific tasks while you are awake: kind of like Pavlov’s dog.

Training yourself to do specific tasks may not be as effective as you think. First of all, it takes me a solid few minutes to memorize a phone number only to forget it the next day. How is a human being expected to do several tasks without even knowing what they are doing half the time? Maybe excellent dog trainers can try it out. Secondly, life is a dynamic flow of events, which means, you can’t keep doing the same activities for your whole life. What if you move, find a new job, start a company, etc.? Are you willing to go through the trouble to rewire your brain every time?

Conclusion

A major advantage of following this sleep cycle is time. You can win back so many years sleeping two hours a day. Who knows what you can do with all that time you have on your hands. So If you are someone who is obsessed with saving time and trying to not waste any second and if you are willing to sacrifice your health and live a dull and repetitive life, then, by all means, being an Uberman is your cup of tea.

That’s all for today’s dose of knowledge. If you liked this post, make sure to subscribe to get more quality content. Stay positive but test negative my dear readers!